Hi Everyone,

Today belongs to you and is a beautiful time to start learning more about how you define self-esteem in your life. As we enjoy the magical month of May, I invite you to think about an opportunity to grow in this area. Think about the energy of love, specifically think about SELF-LOVE. Then think about how you can step into a new appreciation and love for yourself and a profound sense of self-esteem.

Here are some of my reflections on self- love and self-esteem – topics that have become my favourites to discuss and process.

I used to think self-esteem was something you had to learn how to do when you couldn’t get anyone else to love you, so you HAD to learn to love yourself. This sounded more like the “booby prize” of personal development; like that Bieber song with the lyric “go and love yourself”. But eventually, after years of my own growth work, I outgrew the infantile, ego-centric notion that love from another was more valuable than love of myself. I went on a journey of transforming self-consciousness into self awareness; self awareness into self-love; and self-love into self- esteem. Here is me, looking like someone who is happy from within (which on that day, I truly was).

Let’s take a look at these concepts and ideals I just mentioned.

What is self-consciousness?

Self-consciousness is like having a witness watching my every move in a critical, judgemental and insecure way. It’s turning my focus on myself and interpreting my world from a place of insecurity, by wondering how everyone else sees me. Self- consciousness feeds feelings of inadequacy and co-dependency.

What is self-awareness?

Self-awareness on the other hand is having a witness in the form of a self-reflective consciousness, a higher self, that enables me to notice and be aware of how my behaviour impacts me and those around me and how the behaviour of others, impacts me. Self- awareness gives me the necessary data to effect changes for my greater good and the greater good of others.

What is self-love?

Self-love is like this delicious feeling of enjoying my own company and my being – much like when someone else loves you and you feel that you are being appreciated and listened to with, not only compassion and kindness, but a feeling of being cherished just for being you.

What is self-esteem?

• It is, on a spiritual realm, simply seeing yourself as valuable just because you exist. You are a reflection of creation and in that way, you are priceless. This is your intrinsic value.
• It is your humanness, the unique representation of you as an individual with thoughts, feelings and actions. The version of you that lives and dies and does a whole lot of things in between those two points. That version of you has a mission, a purpose and several assignments to fulfil, in this life. That version of you is in relationship with: Yourself (intrapersonal); Others (interpersonal): and the rest of the Planet (global). These aspects are all underpinned by your relationship with the Divine.
• It is vital to your happiness on this material plane because it nourishes you; it’s your sunlight and water; your sustenance. How YOU treat YOU is your vital food for living, more than wealth or power or how others treat you.
• It is a measure and a mirror of the value you ascribe to yourself.

I have always loved how psychologist, researcher and author Dr. Edmund Bourne, Ph.D. defines self-esteem. Dr. Bourne says self -esteem is a way of thinking, feeling and acting that implies that you accept, respect, trust and believe in yourself.

Please listen to the radio show link below to learn more how we can break that down into a very measurable 4-step formula that you can easily use.

So how do you create a self – esteeming relationship with yourself?

You create a relationship with yourself much in the same way that you create a relationship with another person, through dialogue and actions. Your dialogue with yourself is called ‘self-talk’ or, “inner dialogue”. The truth is, the more loving your self-talk is, the better your relationship with yourself, again much in the same way as loving communication with another magnifies the love in that relationship and harsh communication, diminishes it. So too, with your actions and behaviours. If you treat yourself with love and if you accept, respect, trust and believe in yourself, you become a person who values themselves. Your vibration shifts into a higher realm. Your self-talk and your actions highly influence your self- esteem and are also a gauge for your level of self- esteem. Make sure to be honest and brave in thoughts, words and actions but always kind and driven by the greater good.

So, get moving on shifting from self consciousness to self- awareness to self love to self- esteem by listening to the podcast, doing the assignment and making a commitment to love yourself first, so that you are fulfilled enough to love others, wholly.