Hi Everyone,
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY
There are many themes and concepts that are explored in the 1999 film The Matrix that relate to the human condition and the human mind. One concept that was referred to, was that Artificial Intelligence created the “original matrix” based on a Utopian society. However, without fear, suffering and pain, human beings refused to accept it and the program failed.Why does this interest me? Well, maybe the message might be that human beings need to evolve beyond the belief in suffering – a wonderful notion; or maybe, that in order for human beings to have evolved to this point, they have needed to face challenges in life and will continue to face challenges in life, in order to learn, grow and evolve, further and that this is part of the human condition. For in life, where is light without the shadow? Understanding that suffering and hardship are part of that which drives us to strive towards something better; to shape our character; to move beyond preconceived limitations, is key to our psychological survival. Otherwise, we will always think there is something wrong with us for being ‘human’.
Does this striving eventually lead us to Utopia? Who knows? We live in a Universe with infinite possibilities. Therefore our potential is infinite and therefore growth is an ongoing part of our existential experience. Perhaps, each level of growth will always have its struggles. Maybe our struggles and challenges will change shape and form; maybe they will be handled differently by us; but will they end? Looking for the day when we arrive, is in my opinion futile. Looking however, to embracing the way life looks today and growing through it with as much grace as we can muster, might allow us to enter a new form of love and acceptance for our life and how we experience it, today.
Why am I highlighting this concept on Valentine’s Day?
In my near two decades in this field, I have had so many wonderful men and women come to me asking: When will I arrive at true love? When will it be my turn? When will the struggle end? When will I find The One? Or, when will my relationship fulfil me?
We analyse and theorise; we CBT and ACT; we feel our feelings and change our thinking; we Tinder, we Bumble, we fall, we stumble. We meet someone and feel blessed until they leave or die; or we meet someone who disappoints or is disappointed with us; we fail to meet someone and blame ourselves, or the world, or bad luck; and so on and so forth…
We do so much, but how much of what we do gets us closer to true love?
As in The Matrix,Neo had to go through that arduous journey, only to discover he was The One, so too, do YOU. I know it is so, so cliche to be told that true love comes from self love. However, as your world is impacted by your perceptions (the observer influences the observed) then your external world will transform to greater love when your internal world does the same. I have spent decades trying to cheat this truth – seeking external validation and status-and believe me, it’s not a sustainable or viable long term option. Therefore, on this Valentine’s Day, I lovingly encourage you to:
- love and accept your life, its challenges and its blessings:
- love and accept yourself, your strengths and your weaknesses; and
- commit to self love and self care as your Valentine’s Day gift to yourself.
For those of you in relationship –
I believe that every relationship offers you the opportunity for growth. As it says in A Course In Miracles, “ there are no accidental encounters, everyone we meet is there to teach us about ourselves”. They are a mirror to parts of yourself that you either reject or accept and it is your life assignment to expose and heal those shadow parts of yourselves.
In our society, we often herald superficial tokens and romantic gestures as a way of benchmarking how successful our relationships are, rather than what we are feeling within the relationship. In order for a romantic relationship to succeed, we are required to be truly honest with ourselves about the challenges that will arise in a relationship and look within to understand why we are being triggered – from childhood trauma, abuse and dysfunctional family environments, to past relationships – and begin to heal those unconscious wounds. This is the truly challenging and rewarding part of relationships.
Often, we fail to see how our partner’s behaviour might be a mirror to deeper wounds within ourselves. Instead we direct, shame, blame and anger towards our partner in the hope that they will change and stop triggering us. This is often where we see the breakdown of relationships and also where unhealthy relationship patterns form, as we never truly heal our trauma and bring the same issues into future relationships. So, by understanding that looking within and healing ourselves is the best way to bring about change in our life, we give the greatest Valentines’ gift to our partner.
This too means that you are The One, not your partner. You are The One because your self love heightens your vibration and that improves the relationship. You are The One because healing your wounds heals the triggers in the relationship. Clearly, if your partner understands that they too are The One and does the same, we have a Conscious Relationship: two self aware people, growing together for their mutual benefit. Now, that’s a Valentine’s Day gift !
Finally Gratitude..
While human beings require challenges in life in order to learn, evolve and live our true life’s purpose, we must dedicate time to giving gratitude for the positive things in our lives and the things going well for us. Just as importantly, let’s try and give gratitude for the challenges in our lives which give us the opportunity for growth. This will bring about a more positive outlook on life, even when things are most challenging.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity for you to embrace your life of self love, self reflection and gratitude. Be grateful to your partner for everything that they bring to your life and the challenges that you have and can overcome together. Give thanks also to the Universe for sending you your current assignment, with or without a partner. Show your love with self love, self reflection and gratitude.
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I invite you to take action towards your breakthrough to an …
Amazing life and planetary transformation.
Love,
Grace
